What's he like?

Twice now, in response to this very question, I've received the response, "He's married."

I realise that, on the James Bond scale, where once is happenstance, twice is coincidence and three times finally becomes enemy action, this comes down to mere coincidence. However, both times it struck me as odd that such an innocuous statement should be greeted with such a guarded response. After all, in both instances we were already talking about the person of whom I asked that question.

The first time was about two and a half years ago, on a sunny beach in France. The year I met the Germans, in fact, and it was with one of those very Germans I was talking as we all walked along the beach. I can't remember the exact reason for the perambulation, possibly a picnic, probably an afternoon swim, but I happened to be chatting with Christoph, who was telling me about a friend of his, with whom, he said, I'd get on well, I suspect because I have an interest in etymology. And so I asked the question. It seemed a reasonable question to ask, and I was expecting a description of the gentleman in question, perhaps citing some of his interests. What I really wasn't expecting was a flat, "He's married." At the time I put this down to some unknown-to-me appearance of desperation, having been on the singles market for a year with no kind of movement. I assumed I must be emanating some kind of set-me-up-with-your-friend vibe, and brushed over the response.

So it was with perplexity bordering on the amazement when I received this response, again, yesterday, when speaking to a student about his father. The discussion was centering around the child's need to circumvent our security/web filtering systems in order to do whatever it is that 12-year old boys want to do. The conversation moved on to whether his father was for or against his attempts, what kind of computers he bought for the child, and then I asked the question. In this instance I was expecting a verbal description of a dad who was kind enough to buy the kid pretty much any kind of gadget he wanted. Again, I surely did NOT expect, "He's married."

WHAT. THE. BLAZES?

Assuring the child that I was, in fact, perfectly happily settled with my wonderful boyfriend, I set to wondering if I'm asking the question with a certain desperation, or if it's a knee-jerk response that men (boys) have to defend their mates (dads) from any perceived, predatory threat.

And here I sit, baffled by these immediate reactions, but with no answer to give. This is one instance where I have no insight, pertaining as it does, to the male psyche, an area of complete bewilderment to those of us from the fairer sex.