Snow Days!

A few weeks ago I woke to find the world had turned white overnight.  Much of the South of England was covered with the deepest snow I could remember since my childhood.

Quickly phoning the girls school, I discovered that the headmaster, Mr Pipe, had already been up, and left a new message on the school's answer phone, telling us that the school was closed for the day.  It took me a bit longer to find out from my boss that our school was also closed for the day, but then the girls and I got into the serious business of enjoying our day.

We walked over to King George V playing field, because it's the nearest public area with a good slope, and tobogganed for an hour or so.  Since I didn't want to drive in the snow, we walked everywhere that day, and fell into bed, exhausted, in the evening.

Only to discover, upon waking, that another Snow Day had been declared!

After 2 glorious Snow Days, it was quite a disappointment to return to school, and see the, once pristine, snow melting, greyly in the carpark.  However, I was cheered and amused to read in my free computer magazine, later that week, that many people had been able to work from home due to the advances of modern technology.

Do you know, not once during my 2 enjoyable days out of the office did it even begin to cross my mind to occur to me to log in from home and even take a peek at the server!

Prince Caspian

My neighbours, enticed by the promise of a roaring fire and chocolate, came over the other night, with a film from their DVD rental place.  They've given up on Blockbuster because of the surfeit of scratched and damaged DVD's, and have started renting from Tesco.  The DVD's come by post, and they can rent as many during each month as they want, on condition that they have no more than 3 out at any one time.

Which is why, just a couple of weeks ago, we settled down in front of the afforementioned fire, to watch Prince Caspian.

And now I'll tell you just why Disney decided to drop the Narnia series like a hot brick.  Their official reasons contain the words "budgetary and logistical reasons", but that's complete horsefeathers!

When I was young, I loved the Narnia Chronicles.  I didn't actually get into them until I was into two figures, but once there I stayed, reading and re-reading the books for years.  I remember the sense of wonder I would get with each new book, which would remain with me for many of those re-reads.  I haven't forgotten the feeling of despair I experienced when I read the last page of The Last Battle, knowing there would never be any more, and all I could do to recapture the magic was to read the chronicles again.  I remember my intense conviction that if I could only find the right door/wardrobe, I, too, could visit Narnia.  The enchantment of the books has never left me, even though, when I try to read them to my children, I find that, in comparison to modern children's literature, they're are, in some places, quite stodgy and slow moving.  

Take, for example, the begining of Prince Caspian.  The story starts, quite well, with a chapter about the Prince and his upbringing.  The cousin is born, and Caspian's life is suddenly in danger, and there's a midnight escape.  So far, so good.  We cut to the children in England, returning, rather downheartedly, to school, about to take separate trains from a small station in the country, when they are suddenly "pulled" back into Narnia.  While it takes them little time to realise that they are, once again, in the land they ruled over for so many years, it's quite some time later that they begin to suspect that they've arrived back in Narnia a very long time after they left, and that things have changed a lot in that time.  This confirmed, they set out to find out why they were drawn into the land, while also trying to find some civilistation and proper food!  Again, excellent story telling.  And then it gets rather awkward.  Having rescued a dwarf from the Telmarines, he proceeds to tell them the story of Prince C, and how he was given, and blew, Susan's trumpet in order to summon help in his time of Greatest Need.  So the exciting story of how Caspian came to blow the trumpet is reduced to a second hand tale.  Despite that, it's still a very good story.

So will someone tell me how Disney managed to make it into an unnecessarily long pile of poop?  I'll let them get away with making Caspian a dark haired man, because the Telmarines were mostly dark haired in the book, and it wasn't illogical.  But why on earth did they have to insert a completely unwritten section about an attack on King Miraz's castle?  There's quite enough material in the book for it to have been an utterly charming, if somewhat shorter, film.

And there's the crux of the matter.  The film is 150 minutes long.  And to translate that, it's just 10 minutes shy of 3 hours.  I complain about my girls' inability to sit still for a whole film, but because the flow of the movie was so turgid, I felt myself becoming restless, as looks lengthened needlessly.  Certain scenes were drawn out far too long, telegraphing the plot just in case we blinked.  Remember the part where the river raises up and breaks the bridge?  Just how many "meaningful" looks can we exchange with Lucy?  All that build up would have given the Telmarines plenty of time to evacuate the bridge before it became match-stick soup.

I know, since The Lord of The Rings was made into 3 superb 3-hour films, that longer movies have become somehow de-rigeur.  But there's a reason the Harry Potter and LOTR films have reached such lengths - the source material is incredibly long to start with.  There's a lot to be said for a tight little 90 minute film.  Especially if you're going to aim it at children.

I'm quite prepared to have a numb bum if the material demands, but with the best will in the world, none of the Narnia Chronicles can scrape together enough raw source to feed such a lengthy film.  People thought it was boring (Caspian notwithstanding) at the cinema, so they're not going to bother buying the DVD - after all, many films go on to become so called "cult" classics after a poor showing at the box office (remember Serenity?), but word on the interwebz isn't going to help Prince Caspian.  Thus a really expensive film (apparently it cost in the region of $225 million!!) is just not going to make back the costs, causing the studio to back out on the deal to make further films.

So THAT'S why Disney aren't going to make the rest of the Narnia Chronicles.