School Software

This has been on my mind for a while, so in lieu of an appology, I'm going to have a rant about educational software.

You all know I work in a school, and it's a job I really enjoy. Although my abhorence of children should make me an unfit candidate for a position like this, I'd still say that it's been one of my most enjoyable jobs. After all, I rarely have to teach - only if my boss, the ICT teacher and academic deputy head, is busy (certain times of the year I do a lot of classes). So you can see, I really do enjoy this work. I've learned a whole load about network support within a very nurturing environment. I've also changed more printer cartridges than seems reasonable, but I guess you've got to take the rough with the smooth.

One thing, however, which has moved me to swearing more often than the children is that software designed for schools is dreadful.

Oh sure, there are some damn good programs out there (and I have to give a mention to my friends at Heinemann who have come up with some excellent software). I also have to give a shout to Sherston, who have supported some rather old pieces of software with a virtual smile. What I'm talking about, though, is the REALLY important software for gathering data.

As a school, there are certain pieces of information required to be sent to The Powers That Be - we have to report back on every child, and their progress every year. And this is a complete fag. So when a piece of software arrives, ostensibly to "help" with the gathering of such data, one can't help but be excited. Until one starts to install the software and realises certain things...

1. The software can only be installed on a single computer.

2. The software needs to be used with the CD in the drive - come ON! This is 2009!

3. The software allows NO configuration for storing the data input in a central (and thus backed up) location. So it's stored on the PC on which you have installed the software.

4. The software is completely non-intuitive for the average user. And in this day and age, that's inexcusable.

5. The software cost an arm and a bloody leg!

I bet you can't yet see why I'm so upset about this. The point is that we run fat clients here - I'd love to be able to call them slim, but I do install a hell of a lot of software locally.. I install a number of standard programs on these - you know, the programs everyone uses on a regular basis. But essentially, ALL our data is stored centrally, and if a machine plays up, gets horribly infected with a virus, or just needs a bit of TLC, all I have to do is roll out a new image. Just recently, helping a friend clear up a rather nasty infection, I was reminded how lucky I am that I have this option. It took us 5 days to get the PC to the point where we were happy it was no longer infected.

So here it is - we're coming up to the end of the first decade of the 21st Century, and people are still writing bloody awful software and fobbing it off on schools.

And even if the software is not bloody awful, I find the charging structure of companies writing for schools preposterous! We have a piece of software called Ranger, which is supposed to do what Group Policies does, but in a nice, easy, friendly way. I can happily say that it does, but the pricing structure!! Dear God!

I had a problem about a year and a half ago, resulting in the need to phone the Ranger people to ask if they'd even heard about this problem happening before. I didn't want them to solve it, I just wanted to know if they'd seen it. You know the sort of thing - you want to eliminate bits of software, and talking to people at the company usually provides a wealth of information if they've come across it, or a simple no if they haven't. There may be an online database of information, helpfully detailing how to solve the problems. I was told that they couldn't even discuss it with me because I didn't have a support contract. So I spoke to my boss, who informed me we DO have a support contract with them, and if we don't, what the hell are we paying hundreds of pounds each year to these people for? As it happens, the money (literally hundreds of pounds each year) is for "Upgrade Protection". Yes, I thought that too! Take off the word Upgrade, and you're much closer to the mark! I was told that unless the problem pertained to the installation of a new version (which I could download because I have my "Upgrade Protection"), they couldn't help me. So when I DID find a problem to do with the installation of the product, about 3 months after I'd downloaded the newer version, I shot off an email, demanding my support - only to be told that it was a bit late for me to be asking for support. In the end, not only did I solve the problem myself, I sent them an email telling how I'd fixed their problem for them.

There are other pieces of software which are actually helpful, useful pieces of work. But the vendors see fit to "sell" them to us with a very limited licence. So we "buy" the software, and a year later it stops working. I've got 3 like this I can think of immediately. Once again, 2 of those can only collect the data locally, and need a new licence number each year to operate. So there I am, having to make special arrangements for these machines any time we need to change things. And the other software is a teaching resource. Apparently it's a rather good one, so, on returning to school this autumn, having a slew of teachers asking to have the software re-installed because it's not working any more was a bit of a blow - THEN I found out they want £300 for a one year licence!

You know - I have to revise my opinion of Microsoft. People keep on about how they're charging the earth for software, and the number of variations of the software is confusing and bewildering - neither of which claim I can refute - but at least once you've made up your mind, and you've paid for the software, it's yours. Maybe not in quite the way a book is yours, but nonetheless, you can install it on your PC, and as long as your PC still works, the software will still work. And the MS software is sufficiently grounded in the 21st century that if you WANT to store your data somewhere else other than the default place, you can do that too - a quick trip to Google will assist with that.

Perhaps I should take that trip to Google, and search out some open source software for my school.

2 Bloody Minutes!?

That's right - that's how long you have to wait after your washing machine has turned itself off before you can open the door.

So, there you are - the load you were washing has taken quite a bit longer than you were anticipating anyway, and you've now only got 15 minutes to get that dressing gown dry before your daughter goes off for her Girls Night In* at the school, and you've got to wait another 2 whole minutes before you even start the drying process. This is 2 minutes of potential drying time, being wasted while I wait for the drum, which stopped spinning quite some time ago, to stop spinning.

Does anyone know why this seemingly arbitrary number has been chosen? Has ANYONE ever seen a washing machine drum continue spinning for more than, what, 30 seconds after the power's been cut? Anyone? Nope - didn't think so. I remember back when I had my first washing machine I could open the door after a scant 1 minute. Yep, I could have been drying that dressing gown a whole minute earlier, instead of getting cramps in my knees as I crouched, waiting for the door catch to unlock. Well, I could have, had the Nanny State not dictated that we're all complete morons, and we might hurt ourselves if we manage to open the washing machine while it's still spinning.

That, along with the beeping noises, is all part of a government conspiracy to drive me to drink - I'm still resisting!

*Girls Night In - a great idea involving a bunch of year 7 girls in pyjamas, with bean-bags, popcorn and other snacks, all congregating in the school hall to watch a video - Twilight! At least they're all in the same place for the girly squealing.