Modern Art - a lot like Marmite

Whenever I think about Modern Art, I'm reminded of the Rowan Atkinson quote about Modern Architects - "Ask a modern architect to design you a building, and you end up with something that looks like a dustbin with a bicycle on top." And this is somewhat how I feel about modern art.

I find myself perplexed, a lot of the time. There is, occasionally, a feeling that my daughters, when they were 4, could have produced a piece of work of at least that quality, possibly better. I'm convinced that some of Picasso's pieces were phoned in, because he CBA to actually come up with a finished picture. I've seen some of his better stuff, you understand - it's GOOD! Whatever one may think about women with eyes in places where eyes were never meant to be, the work is revolutionary. There is, however, a piece of his work at the Tate Modern right now which definitely comes under the CBA heading. It looks as if he had some paint over from a bigger work, but he'd already put his brushes into the cleaning solution, and so he used his fingers. It looks like a lazy piece of work. I absolutely HATE it. I was all fired up to declare Picasso a crap painter, when I remembered that he's actually done a bunch of REALLY good, albeit strange-eyed, work. It would be unfair to say that his work is all dreadful, based on one, not particularly good example.

After all, there was one installation consisting of an entire room (ok, not THAT large a room) which had 4 large canvasses, each of which was covered in swirls of red paint. Not meticulously painted swirls, you understand, but the sort you could reproduce on the wall of a room you were painting with a 1" brush dipped in red emulsion. Now, while it has to be said that I enjoy my art work to be more colourful, this is what I'd classify as a lazy-arsed piece of work. That said, I'm in awe of someone who can SELL such a piece on the basis of a weasely worded piece of text about "imagining the negative space". I'll never forget the time, in my A-level art class, when I'd been messing about for the whole of the lesson (seriously, you DIDN'T mess about through at least one lesson during A-levels?), had produced nothing, and as the art teacher did his rounds, I drew a number of vertical and horizontal lines on the paper, and told the teacher is was a graphical representation of a cedar tree. I don't know if the teacher bought it, but he nodded sagely and wandered on.

There was an installation consisting of no more than wood, parcel tape and polystyrene dummies heads. Another perplexing piece, and although the parcel tape had been applied with enviable precision, I was unable to LIKE it. I could admire the effort involved in the application of parcel tape, as there was not an unsightly bump (unlike MANY of my own attempts with that sticky material), it was a bewildering and disturbing installation.

And then there were some wonderful pieces. The planks of wood, cut in geometric designs...

Wood

For some reason, I LOVE this installation. Something here makes me want to touch the wood. I want to run my fingers over those cuts, and feel the sharpness of the serrated edges, feel the points of the little square pyramids. Why on earth do I like this one so much?

Another work, cunningly entitled "Clarinet on a Mantelpiece" is, for all that I'm buggered if I can find either the clarinet OR the mantelpiece, a wonderful picture. I can imagine having that on my wall at home, and finding a new way each day to completely and utterly fail in finding the items. I DID find a dog in there...

Clarinet on Mantelpiece

Well, I THOUGHT it was a dog. Oh! I've just googled it, and it is, in fact, called Clarinet and a Bottle of Rum on a Mantelpiece. I know - it's not particularly colourful, is it? And yet I'd love to find wall space for it. And for the record, I'm also failing to find the bottle of rum, either...

And so to the crux of the matter.

Modern Art makes you FEEL! You can feel deep hatred, ecstatic joy, warmth, annoyed, or slightly disturbed (and sometimes VERY disturbed), but you can't come away from a visit to a Modern Art Gallery without quite a strong opinion of the work. The one thing I DIDN'T feel was indifferent.

This is the Year of the eBook

Oh yes, dear readers, this is the Year of the eBook.

As it happens, I've been reading ebooks for quite some time now, on one device or another. My early experiments with ebooks having been conducted on my Palm Pilot, I didn't really get into ebooks until a rather later device, on which I was able to run Mobipocket - probably the Palm V, I should think. In fact, on installing Mobipocket, I discovered that if I downloaded the PC software, I was able to create my own ebooks. This and the discovery of Project Gutenberg filled my device with classics. I scanned in some of my own books, pushing them relentlessly through character recognition software unable to distinguish the old fashioned fonts of my collection of Biggles books, and filling the void manually, when the software was unable to recognise for itself.

Every time I've upgraded my device, I've installed a reasonable ebook reader, copied my books across, and continued the Odyssey. On moving to the Clié, I re-installed Mobipocket, and found that the scroll-wheel at the back of the device could be use to scroll through the pages. Nice! I moved to Nokia, where Mobipocket was quickly superseded by FB Reader, Mobipocket having no support for full screen on the touch screen devices, and requiring a complete uninstall/reinstall to allow access to the library again.

More recently, on the S3, I installed FB Reader, but I also went ahead and installed the Kindle reader. This, my friends, could have been an expensive learning curve! How easy Amazon make it for you to click Buy on a book, and how many books one buys before realising that there are only so many hours in the day! I've also been able, recently, to set up the volume keys to move on to the next page or back to the previous (thank you Ian!) Thankfully my initial buying frenzy was tempered by the fact that I'd landed in the Bargain Books corner of the Kindle Store.

And so I'm set.

The point, though, is that having moved out of the Big House, and into the Somewhat-smaller-but-all-mine House, I'm a wee bit short of space. My bookshelves are stacked with the books I had spread round the Big House. In fact they're stacked, double stacked and, quite frankly, overflowing! This is all because, as a child having to return books to the library, I vowed I'd OWN books as soon as I had funds with which to buy them. And own books I do. Despite my love of technology, there's nothing quite like the smell and feel of a book. New, old - doesn't matter. They're a wonderful, tactile experience.

Thus the decision was made. Any book on my shelf (with a few exceptions) that I can replace with an ebook copy WILL be replaced with an ebook copy. I will not, however great the saving/provocation, BUY new books without attempting to find the ebook version first. Thus on a recent trip to London, having wandered into Foyles and seen a possible book, I picked it up to purchase... And returned it, resolutely, to the shelf from whence it came! Could I, was it just possible that I was able to buy that very tome, without actually buying THAT very tome?

Indeed it WAS! Not only that, but cheaper than the paper copy in Foyles, too! This is not always the case. A recent trip to Tesco resulted in the inevitable urge, once more, to buy a book, which I resisted, safe in the knowledge that I'd be bound to find it online, and probably save a pretty penny in the process - but alas this was not to be. The ebook price was more than the discounted paperback price. It's got to be said, mean as I am, that I've not yet talked myself into the purchase of said book.

And so the plan is this: If I want a book, I MUST attempt to buy it as an ebook before succumbing to the deliciousness of print.

Now I must go and clear out my bookshelves... Wish me luck!

The Good, The Bad, and The Frankly Unhelpful

I didn't want to be in this position, but it's actually quite logical that I look after ink supplies for printers. After all, I look after the printers when something goes wrong, and I'll change a cartridge if my users aren't sure how to do it. So being the ink/consumables buyer is a logical extension of my job. Not ALL consumables, of course - paper is still handled centrally by the admin team. I'm also the person responsible for ordering projectors, although, strangely, NOT DVD players.

All of which means that I'm often wooed by companies who'd like to have my business.

I'm going to say, right here and now, that I usually frequent a site called Supplies For Schools. They have been, and continue to be, a spectacularly good site. I get 30 days credit without even having to sign up for an account (although I do believe I have one). Most of my order will usually arrive the day after I've placed it, with remaining items turning up within a week. Only a couple of times have I had to chase to get those final few items. The web site is laid out logically, and their search algorithm is efficient!

I also, but less often, use Equanet, because I have an account manager, who will help me to find new equipment. Thus when I required a new, networked printer or a projector, I gave them a list of requirements, and allowed them to choose the kit necessary. They have not yet let me down. Their search is less useful (although nothing like as spectacularly bad as the Amazon search), but if I can't find what I want, I call up my account manager and have them find it for me. Turns out that's quite efficient!

These, then, are The Good.

And so onto the wooing. As I said, I have a number of cold calls - people trying to convince my reception ladies that they've spoken to me before, trying to pretend acquaintanceship where none exists, but my ladies always catch them. Occasionally, if I've nothing urgent on, I'll talk to them. I figure it can't harm (except that now they WILL have spoken to me), and it might just help.

The conversations usually centre on the fact that I'm in charge of buying inks, and have I been to look at their web site. Usually there's a bit of incentive to sign up for their site, consisting of a regular discount or something. Many of these are perfectly adequate sites, with perfectly reasonable prices. The only problem is that SO many of them require that you create an account. Which then needs to be verified. I get that you don't want your customers making off with the goodies without paying. But the hoops through which I've been forced to jump on occasion put me off these sites.

There are, of course, the sites which simply can't compete with my usual sites.

These I refer to as The Bad.

Once in a while, however, comes a cold call of such mind-boggling idiocy that you wonder how the people are still in business. Oh, sure, I get that you're trying to drum up business, and that, maybe, you don't quite know how to price your supplies, but ASKING your customers how much they paid for their last order so that you can simply come back with a better price for their next order is just breathtakingly crass!

But it's happened to me - followed up with multiple calls and emails, all asking ME to do THEIR job. Wow! Just wow!

Other such sites have required that I sign up for an account, but refuse to send goods without prior payment by cheque. Which needs to clear before they'll even think about dispatching the goodies.

These sites are The Frankly Unhelpful. Or The Exceedingly Crass. Or The Plain, Old Ugly!

I think Supplies for Schools have it right. Apart from the fact that they just make my life easier, it's not as if schools are fly-by-night institutions. They can be verified quite simply.

I'm not going to name and shame any site - they hardly need my assistance in their chaotic rush to go out of business!

EMagazines -get your act together!

I've been browsing the magazine section of Google play store, and have been quite surprised at the vitriol directed at many of these publications in the review sections, because despite paying for a subscription, these people are having to wade through pages of ads before they reach actual content.

I get it, though, you know. I totally understand that even paid-for content needs to be supported by advertising. You never get ANY magazine or newspaper which is totally void of advertising. The more marginal the magazine, the more advertising. Unless you're talking something like Vogue or Cosmo!

I also get the readers' frustrations. In the paper world you can grab the magazine and flick through to the article you want to read. Sometimes you'll actually stop to glance at, or even read, an ad, but while the content may be presented linearly, that's SO not how it's read.

For example: I get my copy of PC Pro, and immediately flick to the readers' letters. That's my joy. Then on to the review section, where upcoming tech is drooled over - by the writers as well as me! Then, when I've read those two sections, I'll find the latest musings from John Honeyball. THEN, and only then, will I return to the front of the mag, and continue my journey. 

Actually, the very first thing I'll do is to remove ALL the ads which are going to stop me flicking easily. You know the kind: the ones printed on card, and the little booklets added in at binding time. Those are a big nope. All the other advertising gets to stay, and I'll skim it as I browse the mag. I sort of feel sorry for the advertisers who've probably paid quite a bit more for a prominent ad, but not sorry enough to let it mess with my enjoyment.

And here's where I'm in great sympathy with the people giving digital magazines the 1-star reviews. The way one is forced to read the magazine is totally linear, as if it were an ebook. In fact, as far as I can work out, the emagazine is simply a pdf version of the paper magazine. Thus the 22 pages of ads at the beginning of some of your upmarket ladies publications are right there and in your face. You've got to swipe 22 times to get started. That's the equivalent of turning, one by one, 22 individual pages in the magazine. But remember, that's not how we read. Those would be flicked past quickly, although one might stop to read one that caught the eye. Imagine, if you will, that my eye was drawn to the main story on the front cover. I could flick randomly through the mag to find the article, or I could use the handy dandy index at the front of the publication. Which is exactly how the digital versions should work - seriously, this has been a function of ebooks for simply ages, and those you DO want to read linearly. Click or mash the link, and it takes you to the chapter in question. Click or mash the link in our new idea of an emagazine, and you're immediately whisked to the relevant article.

So my assertion is this: digital magazine content delivery sucks. 

Oh my word how hard it sucks! I could create a PowerPoint presentation which would do the job better, but I wouldn't bother to put ads in it. There must be a way to deliver really good content in a way that uses the computer-like abilities of our phones and tablets, and yet still utilises the advertising base. Sure, digital magazines are in their infancy, but since I've had to download a dedicated reader app to get my content, surely it's not beyond the imagination that the content be presented more along the lines of a web page. Many apps are ad assisted, with little banners coming up at the bottom, so that's just one of the imaginative ways ads could be presented in a digital mag. Since the method of reading magazines and books is completely different, surely it's not beyond the bounds of possibility to attempt a different model?

And while I'm still not done with my rant, there's the question of pricing. I find myself surprised, nay astonished that some publishers have the gall to charge MORE for the digital version than the actual printed-on-honest-to-goodness-paper-and-delivered-via-post version. There is NO argument you can make that will convince me to pay MORE for a digital version than a paper version until you add more content/usability to MAKE it worth it.

If you're going to charge more for the digital version, the least you can do is ADD value. Otherwise, charge less for this burgeoning market, deliver the lazy pdf-alike version and reap those 1-star reviews.

Christmas 2012

My goodness this has been an exciting year! I hope you’re strapped comfortably into your seat, because this is going to be a blast! Well, it was while I was living it, so I hope I can do it justice.

The year started, as they will, with the girls off on their usual skiing holiday with their dad. This is a great time for me, because I spend the two weeks throwing stuff out of their rooms. Don’t mention it to them - they’ll get upset. What made THIS year so exciting was that I received a call from Wavell School, saying that they had a place for Lizzy, and she could start on 17th January. She’s had a bee in her bonnet about going there for quite some time now, mostly, I think, because her best friend is in attendance. Warning her that while she could, if necessary, go back to Hawley Place, she MUST give Wavell at least a month before making that decision.

Well, I thought she was happy - she came home the first week, excitedly telling me that she was in the top set for science! I was very excited for her, as she seemed so happy. I loved that she was able to walk back through the park with friends each day, and was always home, with homework finished, before Lottie and I even pulled into the drive! Sadly this didn’t last, and the day after half term (a month, exactly, since she’d started) she told me how unhappy she was, and how much she wanted to go back to Hawley. And so she did. Still, year 8 is pretty much the last opportunity for messing around to this extent.

Just before she decided to go back to Hawley, we booked tickets to go to Disneyworld in Florida! Ian had wanted to take us there, the trip had been in the planning stage since Christmas, and we decided that Easter was the best time to go. Hot, but not ridiculously so. Now THERE was an exhausting trip! We flew out of Heathrow terminal 5 at about mid morning on the first monday of Easter holiday, and after checking into the USA in Chicago, where I saw, but didn’t photograph (because I was convinced we’d ALL be shot), the BEST security guard haircut EVER, we arrived in Orlando at about 1800, local time.

Disneyworld is great fun. You always think it’s going to be for younger children, but actually there’s so much there for ALL age groups... that I’m beginning to sound like an advert! Well, all that aside, we had a really great time. We started, the day after arrival, with a trip to the local outlet mall for some shopping, which was great fun, until the girls decided that jet-lag should start to take its toll only a couple of hours into the trip. We KNEW they weren’t faking it because, well, it’s a SHOPPING trip! Still, I had a great time shopping - it’s not so different from the UK, but I got some really nice t-shirts.

The real fun started the next day with our trip to Seaworld. I’d not been in America since the 80s, and I’d never been to an American theme park. I loved some of the animal displays, but found the shows a bit lame - except Shamu, which I enjoyed immensely. Lottie got some really good shots of the killer whales. I was a bit disappointed that there was no grass on which to sit and eat a picnic - everything was set up to ensure that you have to eat their food in their restaurants. Hmmm! Still, the roller-coasters were brilliant - in fact we went back to Kraken a number of times, before leaving the park, exhausted, after dark!

But that’s not ALL! The next day we went to Disney’s Animal Kingdom. The animals were actually brilliant, I loved the safari - mainly because they had elephants!! The rides were also really spectacular - our favourites were a couple of rides in the Dinosaur area (Dinosaur and Primeval Whirl) and Expedition Everest - I can’t remember how many times we revisited those rides! Not only did I love the safari, I really enjoyed the Maharajah’s Jungle Trek - a beautifully themed walk through a “jungle” with masses of wild-life. We didn’t see many of the shows - although we did go along, just before leaving the park, for the last “It’s tough to be a bug” show of the day. 

The next day it was on to Magic Kingdom. Sadly the runaway train ride was out of action, and we faffed around SO much that we didn’t get to Tomorrowland until very late. This was a shame, because I REALLY wanted to spend time in that area. Actually, as it happened, we DID get to Space Mountain, which was quite the most uncomfortable ride! It was a fabulous ride, and the queueing system was typically good, but with no real head support and a bit of a jerky ride, I did stumble off with neck ache. Still, the VIEW in the ride was amazing. I’d go again, in spite of the potential for broken necks! Despite coming late to Tomorrowland, it was my favourite part of the park, although I loved the idiotic Magic Tiki hut thing. Now THERE’S an ear worm! “In the tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki room...” Apart from Tomorrowland, the next best bit was when we were strolling down some street, and a parade went by (and seriously, this happens every 5 minutes or so), and I was squealing with delight because Woody was on one of the floats, so he stopped and blew a kiss!!

Actually I can’t remember what order we did the kingdoms, but I LOVED Epcot. That was my favourite of all the Disney Kingdoms. Lottie tells me she loved Hollywood Studios best, and I’ve got to say, Tower of Terror was one of the best rides. Lizzy was ALL over Animal Kingdom, and EVERYONE thought Magic Kingdom was tacky in the extreme! I suppose, technically, it’s ALL tacky. Just rather well done! I know I liked Epcot best because of the feeling of wide, open spaces - and the fact that it is, for America, quite cosmopolitan! I actually really liked the ride up through the middle of the Epcot ball. I gather this has been recently redone, and certainly, getting a voice-over by the delicious Dame Judy Dench made it SO much more fabulous. And Ian was right, they DO have the best fireworks at Epcot. And we ate at an English Fish and Chips shop - although it bore little resemblance to fish and chips in England, but tasted pretty, damn fine!

So for the last two days we did Universal. I’m pleased to say that by the time we got to Universal, our jetlag had calmed down a lot, and apart from a bit of a rest on the grass (yes, insect bites, let’s not talk of this), we stood up well, and had a meal at the Hard Rock Café at the end of the evening! We did Universal Studios first, leaving Islands of Adventure for last. Actually, they were both brilliant. The rides in Islands of Adventure are fantastic, except the water rides. I think we’ll draw a veil over how horrible THAT little section of the trip was! We finished the day with a trip to the Hogwarts Castle ride, which was REALLY well done.

Lottie, who’s been singing for the Farnham Youth Choir, as well as doing a lot within school with the Vocal Group, and the Vocal Performing Group, had a couple of good trips this year. She was invited to go to Paris to sing soon after Easter, and with the Choir, went to compete in the World Choir Games in Cincinnati. I gather they won a gold and a silver! Actually, she’s been performing REALLY well, and did a lovely solo at a recent concert in a Farnham church - I put it on Youtube! I’m looking forward to this Saturday, where she’ll be doing another solo and a duet, I believe. I had to attend the Senior School Carol Concert last night, which is a torture of the most monumental proportions (actually, this applies to ALL school music functions), except for the lovely moment when Lottie performed the first verse of In The Bleak Midwinter without any support or microphone. You can gather from this entire paragraph that I’m seriously proud of my girl. This, of course, is well tempered with the exasperation I feel when she forgets something essential for a performance, and I have to go back and get it. Which is every single time!

Now, I’d not want anyone thinking I’m not equally fond of Lizzy. After the messing round in early spring, she settled back down to work. She did have a bit of catching up to do, but she’s nicely organised, so that wasn’t too much of a problem. In addition to which, her artwork is amazing. I wish I could get her to draw a nice Christmas picture for the letter. I’ll have to shove in some pics from the holidays.

Ooh! Talking of holidays, the camping holiday this year was particularly good. It all started during Champagne Thursday, when my mate Jo said that she couldn’t go to Romania this year. Some problem with some of the people going, so no one was going. So I said why didn’t she come with us. And so she did. It was brilliant!

We decided on a tour this year - via Chartres (to see the Cathedral) and the Massif Central to the Pyrenees and then on to the beach. Chartres Cathedral is quite as spectacular as I was expecting. It’s brilliant - you drive across some very flat plains, and suddenly over a rise, there’s this MONSTROUS cathedral on the horizon. Absolutely amazing!

We stayed the first 3 nights of camping in the Massif Central, at Le Grange Fort, which is a fantastic fort turned into a camping site. It was SO hot, and we kept getting eaten by mosquitoes! However, we did go up the Puy de Dome, although that little trip has become VERY touristy - to the point where you have to take a little train, where you used to be able to drive up. We had a lovely trip, but then moved on to the Pyrenees. Very expensive, the massif!

Unfortunately the Pyrenees were very WET, so we almost longed for the expense/mosquitoes/heat of the massif. We DID get ONE gorgeous morning of glorious sun, which showed the new crew how lovely the mountains can be, but shortly after the sun came out, the clouds came back down, and the rain began again. We also had a WHOLE night of thunderstorms, with Ian and I popping out each time a new one came upon us, in order to keep the tarp from filling with water and pulling all the tents over! In the end, after the 4th storm, we untied it and decided it could flap.

The day we left the mountains, the weather was, once again, gorgeous! Dammit! And then we had an accident on the way down the mountain, when our top-box fell off, so I stamped on the breaks, and Jo drove into me. Oh my goodness was that a mess! The top-box issue was down to some rather old (second hand off ebay) roof rails, and was quite easily solved, since I’ve got a French car! Sadly the damage to the front of Jo’s car was a bit more difficult to disguise! We ended up taping it all together with French gaffer tape, which is actually better than English gaffer tape! But since it’d taken all day to sort out the roof-box issue, and we were all feeling a bit glum, we checked into an hotel for the night, and had a calming McDonalds for supper!

And so! On to the beach! It actually took us about 3 hours from Tarbres to Bordeaux, but then we got stuck in the traffic getting onto the peninsula. Yes, there really IS only the one road out to Cap Ferret! But on the beach at last. And the weather, this year, was lovely! Nice and hot, and everyone burned except me!! I actually WORE the t-shirt on the beach all the time. I tell you, when that t-shirt wears out I’m going to be distraught! Anyway, you ALL know what goes on when I’m at the beach. That’s right - absolutely nothing. And I love it. Total relaxation.

Let me see if I can find some pictures to stick into this thing. I can’t believe it gets longer and longer each year. Honestly, anyone would think I have FUN during the year.

Oh - I forgot some minor news. Ian moved back from Canada to England, and is currently living in a flat within VERY easy walking distance.

And, as usual, this letter is spectacularly late, and it’ll arrive just in time for Christmas NEXT year.

Sorry – hope you had a brilliant one!!

And Airshow – I forgot to mention Airshow! I’m only saying this now because I actually got to GO to the Farnborough Airshow back in July. It was really good, and I took SO many pictures. Let me see if I can find something for you… Nope, apparently it’s a roller coaster picture!

Galaxies of Tablets

So I was reading an article (and I'll link it if I can find it) which was suggesting that soon most people will be giving up their humble PCs in favour of the newer, shinier Tablet. It's so new and shiny I felt the need to capitalise it there, do you see?


We've established that I'm a little bit of a geek, so I've been playing with a tablet for nearly a year, and a Samsung Galaxy SIII for a week and a half now!


Of course I'd previously wanted to have an iPad, but without the inevitable hassle of actually owning an iPad. You know, the derision, the ridicule - that sort of thing. Oh, and the fact that there appear to be no free apps, and that the most popular app one year was the jiggly booby app. I won't lie - that's a brush with which I have no desire to be tarred! Android seemed the logical course, given that, at the time, Windows was SO not a contender in the tablet market, and Palm? Well let's just shimmy on past that little missed opportunity, shall we?


Many tablets were looked at - some more longingly than others, until the day the eeePad dropped onto the front step. Yes, you've guessed it. Our postman will leave expensive stuff on the step, and yet the day he had a parcel not even addressed to my house, he left me a collection card. The Links of London bracelet? In the flower trough on the porch.


I love my pad. I sit in bed and watch movies, read comics (the 10" screen is just perfect for Manga) and I post witty little Twits. Tweets. Whatever. With the SIII, it's even better! I'm no longer tied to wireless networks, and have unlimited 3G. I can roam the countryside, watching YouTube videos in the pastures, posting Twits willy-nilly from anywhere. Well, anywhere with a 3G signal.


The screen is mahoosive and glossy. I expect they could make it better, but I'm not so sure I'd notice if they did. What I'm trying to say, in my ham-fisted way, is that the screen is gorgeous. Gorgeous, I say! And of course, the device is nicely portable, so I could actually USE that shopping list I downloaded for the pad. After all, the tablet is hardly the device you take shopping with you, is it?


And lightweight - did I mention lightweight? Given the size, it's hard to believe it's actually a whole 7g lighter than the iPhone 4s. I know, a barely noticeable difference, but hold both phones, one each in your hands, and suddenly 7g will seem quite a lot. Indeed, one concern was that this phone is a brute and there's NO WAY I'm tucking that puppy unobtrusively into my bra - so how the blazes would I carry it round? Well, that hasn't been a problem - except of course for bra thing.


In fact, it's SO damn useful that there have been days in the last week and a half that I've not actually turned on my computer. Yep - I hear your gasps of disbelief! Who'd-a-thought it? Sian, not turning on her PC as soon as she comes home, to get her fix of the interwebz? Except that I wasn't being denied anything. It's all there on the S3.


With ONE, quite important actually, exception.


Sure, I post those witty little twits, I comment on Facebook posts. I compose little emails to my friends. I can do all this, and relatively quickly too, because I purchased a slide keyboard. "What's that?" you say, "What's a slide keyboard?" As simply as possible, it's an on-screen keyboard on which you slide your finger through the letters which make up the word you want to type. Because of the way it works it requires a degree less accuracy a normal phone on-screen keyboard. If I miss a letter, it'll have a stab at working out which word I really wanted. This doesn't always work out, and sometimes it doesn't have the word in its word-banks. Thus you do get some interesting (but, unlike Apple, not smutty) autocorrections.


But nothing comes close to the ability to hack out 35WPM on a proper, old-fashioned keyboard. There's a reason I like the little nobbles on the F and J keys - once you can touch type, you find your index fingers moving inexorably back to those keys, leaving your brain to work on what it was you wanted to say, rather than the fact that you have to SEE every single thing you peck at on the smooth and shiny surface.


I can't imagine how long it would take, and how little hair I'd have at the end, to type this blog into either the pad or the S3.

eBooks on Devices.

I'd forgotten, for quite some time, to install Calibre on my new PC when it arrived last year, so when I was finally reminded of my omission, I got right on with that task. Last week!

I copied my library of ebooks from the old PC (sitting forlornly in the corner pretending to be a server), and started to populate Calibre. I do have quite a hefty ebook library - a quick glance at my Fictionwise bookshelf alone, reveals a total of 197 books! I have a lesser quantity that I've actually scanned, recognised and converted, but I think we're talking maybe half a dozen, if that.

Scanning is a pain, unless you have one of these! Recognition is also a pain, especially in older books, because the quality of print is not always perfect, and for some reason certain letters always seem to be interpreted in the same way - m often comes out as rn. It's especially difficult when the text is printed with serif characters (and let's face it, most old books are), so the results are littered with errors requiring correction. Yeah, scanning your own books in is tricky.

I've often wondered if speech recognition would be a viable option, but I always feel like a bit of a twit saying "Open quotes what's wrong comma close quotes he asked" - you can get Dragon, for example, to type exactly what you're saying, as long as you say it correctly. I've never actually had it type comma when I've asked for a comma, but since I lost my copy of Dragon Dictate quite some time ago, this isn't something I've tried since I discovered ebooks.

But I digress! Of course I do - it's my thing. A bit like those jokes Ronnie Corbett used to tell on The Two Ronnies show. As I child I hated that part of the show, because I wanted a quick joke, and it was always a 5 minute lead up to the joke, by which time my childish attention span had wondered. In retrospect, and having seen some of them since, they were actually rather funny!

Ooops!

On to the main point (which is, I have to say, nothing like as exciting and funny as the lead up would have you believe). I discovered that Calibre has a built in content server. "What?" I hear you say, "What's that?"

Actually, Content Server has got to be one of the more transparent terms across which I've come recently - it's a server which will allow access to content. In this case the content being ebooks.

If I turn on the content server, I can access my Calibre library from any machine on my network, as long as I know the IP address of my main PC. If you type in the address 192.168.1.2:8080 then, assuming your PC has the IP 192.168.1.2 and Calibre's content server is running there, you can get at your Calibre library from any PC/laptop/device/ebook reader which can connect to your network. Any. And it does work, because I tried it from ALL of them!

I tried from the eeePad, and was able to download a book to the device. As it happened, this particular book appears to be formatted without any kind of paragraph formatting (there don't seem to be any carriage returns in the entire book!), but that's an individual book issue.

I even tried on the Kindle I'd borrowed from school (I wanted to see if I was happy with an e-ink device), and because there's a browser, I was able to access the library. At first the Kindle didn't want to download the book, because I'd asked for the ePub version, but Calibre happily converted the book to Mobi format (apparently readable by Kindles), and the Kindle not only downloaded, but I'm already a couple of pages into it!

So in theory, if I were to mess about with port forwarding and all, I could access my library from ANYWHERE in the world, on any device I chose.

I'm strangely excited by this discovery!