A Mouse in the House

A few months ago we had a bit of a mouse problem. We set a humane trap, on the grounds that we didn’t want the girls to hear the SNAP-Squeak! of the “Little Nipper” we found languishing (unused, it turned out) in the drawer. Now, this humane trap is a little like a tiny mouse-maze – they enter, smelling the Roquefort (trust me, it’s the best for catching the little brutes.) As they work their way round towards the irresistible smell of the cheese, they walk over a tipping walkway – their little tiny bodies just heavy enough to tip it down. Having passed this walkway, they continue on to the prize, glistening in front of them!

But then there’s the return journey. Oh sad creature – that tipping walkway has now returned, on it’s pivot, to the original position, baffling their attempts to exit. And all this with a clear, Perspex top, through which you can see the wretched beast you’ve caught.

The upshot of this is that we caught a mouse, which was let out, at least a kilometre away, to stop him making his way home – you just need to check for breadcrumb trails!

But this wasn’t the end of the mice – it turns out that they really like my kitchen bin! I was stumbling out of the shower room one morning, opening the door behind which the bin resides, when I thought I heard a bigger rustling than the item I’d dropped in there should make. I re-opened the door, to see the cutest little critter staring back at me, frozen in the process of climbing back out of the bin, after a long nights grazing. I don’t know which of us was more surprised – I don’t really function very well at that time in the morning. This was my first indication of just how fast the little beasts can move!! My hand stretched out, but before I could get close, all I could see was the end of his little tail disappearing under the waste-disposal unit.

It quickly became clear that there was more than one mouse dining in my kitchen, so in order to make quick work, I bought another mouse-maze, but then found a cheaper trap – the mouse-tip. This one is really simple – you stick the Roquefort in the little cap – this goes on one end, the other having a swinging door. The whole thing is bent, like a banana, so that as the unfortunate creature heads for the prize, his body weight (oh so slight), tips the trap over, causing the door to swing shut. Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie*, trapped! And it worked, first time round.

So, the next morning, my daughter headed downstairs, as excited as if it were Christmas morning! Oh the delights in store under the sink! There she found the trap – tripped! On picking it up, she was bamboozled by the apparent lack of weight, and wishing to check that we actually had caught a mouse, opened the trap to find – a mouse, which promptly leaped nimbly from the trap, and scurried off under the waste disposal unit. Still, she felt so embarrassed that I got a freshly made cup of tea that morning, as she confessed all to me.

To my delight, repeated success followed quickly, and a couple of days later we found a closed trap. I picked it up, to see if I could establish whether we had an inmate. The trap was really heavy – we’d managed to catch the mouse equivalent of a gourmand! Because we weren’t going to be able to let the brute out straight away, we decided we’d decant him into a suitable container (with holes in the lid), for transport – which is where it gets just plain silly! The second I opened the trap he was off. Skittering over the hob, he made for the relative safety of the microwave oven. When I moved that, he scurried back over the hob, dancing towards the kettle. I leaped to cut him off, but in a bold move, he threw himself off the counter to the floor, and seconds later, we saw his tail disappearing under the waste disposal unit. For a moment there, I felt like I was in a Tom & Jerry sketch!

After that we decided we’d not open the trap – if the mouse is particularly light, tilting the trap will result in some audible scrabbling sounds – you don’t need to open it to find out!!

In all, we managed to find and re-home 2 further mice.

Thanks to Robert Burns, for his truly fabulous poem.

Did Apple do it on purpose?

Apple iPhone warning proves true

An Apple software update is disabling iPhones that have been unlocked by owners who wanted to choose which mobile network to use.

Earlier this week Apple said a planned update would leave the device "permanently inoperable".

Thousands of iPhone owners hacked their expensive gadget in order to unlock it for use with other mobile carriers and to run a host of unsupported programs.

There are also reports of the update causing issues with unaltered iPhones.

On Monday Apple issued a statement in which it said many of the unauthorised iPhone unlocking programs caused "irreparable damage" to the device's software.

The company said this would "likely result in the modified iPhone becoming permanently inoperable when a future Apple-supplied iPhone software update is installed".

That warning has now proved correct as many owners are reporting their phones no longer work following installation of the update.

You can read the rest of the story here…

I happened upon this story today, on the BBC website, and started to ask myself some questions…

First - do you think Apple went out of their way to make sure that “hacked” iPhones were deliberately locked? Second, and more important – why? In fact, this why is a multi-part why. Why did they stop people from installing 3^rd party apps in the first place? Why did they lock people into just the one network? And why on earth, did they not make the thing 3g capable? Oh, and why would they deliberately lock down your device?

Obviously the answer to all the why questions is Money. They stand to make a whole hell of a lot more by tying people into just one network operator – after all, the network operator in question will have offered a massive incentive for Apple to place all their business there. This is one desirable device (despite the locking, the no 3^rd party apps, and the 3g issue) – in fact, I’d go so far as to say that for many people, it’s a must-have device.

I’m pretty convinced I can’t answer the second why. After all, Palm (until recent times), grew huge on the promise of programming extra, un-thought of applications for their pda’s. So why have Apple gone all exclusive on us? According to the specs, this thing is running a cut down version of MacOS X, which is not a completely incompetent OS, running more than one piece of 3^rd party software – Microsoft Office, anyone? I mean, that’s 3^rd party for a Mac (we wont go into the stupid new icons they use for it, though). I can’t actually find out what sort of processor the iPhone boasts, but let’s face it, it’s not going to be any kind of a slouch – the thing is designated an “entertainment” phone!! It’s specifically designed to run video and audio, and stream either over the airwaves (obviously this would be faster if they’d provide 3g). Soooo, getting back to the point (you know I digress, that’s why you read my blog!) the second why has to be all about money – and the applications they’ll be able to sell. Only – I can’t actually find any…

That hoary old third why – why did they not provide you with better than GPRS connectivity? Well, I just can’t answer this one. Laziness? Arrogance? Contempt for their customers? Take your pick. Rumour has it that the next version of the iPhone will, indeed, have rather faster connection speeds, but you’ve gotta wonder why, in this day and age, when devices all around us are boasting everything that the iPhone provides (and more!) they didn’t bother to put it in first time around. So, I was wrong - not money then...

Now, which shall we deal with first? Question 1, did they do it deliberately? Or question 2, the final why – why would they do it? Let’s not change the habits of a life-time, we’ll answer the final why. This one must definitely come down to bloody-mindedness. You can just hear the conversation between Steve Jobs and one of his underlings.

SJ: What? People have already managed to hack the iPhone? I thought we made it un-hackable! After all, we’re brilliant! The iPhone is 5 years ahead of its time!

U: Well, we thought it was, but you know, there are some evil people out there, determined to take us down.

SJ: OK – here’s what we’ll do. We’ll release an “update”. It’ll check for signs of hacking, and it’ll make the device explode, killing everyone within a 10 foot radius!

U: Um… Sir… You can’t do that. I think it might be classed as murder.

SJ: Explode - blowing off a hand?

U: Er… I think we’d be looking at deliberate maiming.

SJ: OK – I’ve got it. We’ll lock up the phone! They wont be able to use it any more, and they’ll have to buy a new one. Loadsa-money!!

U: Oh, genius, sir! That’ll bring the rest into line.

So you can see that the third why can be answered by money too!

This leaves us with only one question to answer – did they do it deliberately? I’m not going answer that one, because I don’t know (and anyway, I’m pretty sure it’d come under the heading of libel if I were to answer in the affirmative). I will, however, point out that Steve Jobs and Bill Gates are not quite as different as they’d love you to believe.

Advertizing, Lawnmowers and Debt

This is advertland, so you know that all the people are going to be grossly over acted caricatures of real people.

Weak-chinned father is trying to mow the rather small lawn with a rather small, but quite adequate, mower – except that he’s not bothered to mow the lawn for the last 6 months, and so every few feet the mower jams, making the task seem impossible. The lawn grows to appear as if he must hack through a couple of acres of over-grown jungle. The rest of weak-chinned father’s family huddle miserably in the doorway, waiting for the day father returns from his expedition, so they may, once again, enjoy the garden. Thankfully, croons the voiceover, there is another way. Take out a massive loan, consolidate all your debts (and the implication is that there must be many, or weak-chinned dad would not have neglected the garden for so long), have only 1 monthly payment, lower than all the other amounts you were paying put together. Cut to a tableau of weak-chinned dad now sitting upon a totally inappropriate lawn mower, more suited to the aforementioned 2 acres, happily finishing off his handkerchief sized lawn. Weak-chinned dad’s children are happily playing on same lawn (risking death by lawn mower, because the lawn is so small.) A shiny, new car sits smugly in the drive. And to add serious insult to injury, simpering mum is weeding, while casting suggestive looks towards weak-chinned dad – “Oooh! He’s such a hunk now he’s got that massive lawn mower.” Clearly size matters.

So, today’s diatribe – are we going to talk about the size of lawn mowers, the fact that Britain used to be at the forefront of world advertising, producing some of the most astoundingly inventive and original adverts, or are we going to talk about Debt?

Yep – advertising. Obviously I’d like to go into lawn mowers, but since I, too, have a handkerchief-sized lawn, I’ve little experience, save to say that a larger mower is actually more difficult to use when cutting something small. I did have a go on a sit-down mower while in France this summer (maybe I’ll tell you about that later), which I found quite difficult to handle, even on the huge patch of lawn I’d promised to mow. I was going to go into debt, but it made me sound pompous, and I wouldn't want that, now, would I?

You have to remember some of your favourite adverts over the years (actually, the one I remember at the moment was shown in Cinemas – the Kia Ora advert – “I’ll be your dog!”). And there are still some hugely inventive ads being created now, which makes all the more perplexing the hideous, mis-conceived and downright lazy ads around right now. And those foreign ads, over-dubbed into English (with completely laughable voices for the people!) – that’s laziness taken to a whole new level. I’ve got to hand it to the makers of the Cilit Bang ads – you win the Prize for the Laziest Advert in 2007.

But for those of you who feel as I do, that Britain was once great in the world of Advertising, here's a reminder...

Now, I'd better get out there and mow my lawn, before it becomes a wasteland of overgrown jungle.

Samsung RS21NCSV Fridge

I know this is a bit different from my other posts, but on searching round the internet, I found that an apparently known problem exists with this fridge, which usually seems to manifest itself directly after the warranty runs out. And I'm talking weeks here, not months!

Kudos to you Samsung - You win the "Best Fault Directly after the Warranty Expires" prize today.

The fault is like this. At some point, either close to the end of the warranty, or just after, you'll notice a wierd buzzing coming from the back of the fridge, which stops when you open the door. But as soon as you shut the door, the buzzing starts up again. After a while you'll decide that this is to do with the fan. You'll assume that the fan is off kilter, and banging against something, but unless you're still in warranty, you'll ignore it. Then a few weeks after that, the problem will disappear - you'll be delighted. "The fridge fixed itself, darling!" you'll cry, when your husband comes home.

Then a few weeks after that, you'll wonder if the fridge is cooling correctly, because butter stored in the door is a bit softer than you think it should be. A few weeks after that you'll be convinced, and at this point, don't give in to the impulse. DO NOT call out that hugely expensive service guy (although, man, was he cute), because what's going to happen is this - he's going to spend 45 minutes thoroughly defrosting the fridge, having cleared it out, and pulled off all the inside back bits. He's going to borrow your hairdryer to help with this, and he's going to get you to run the part he's taken off under the hot tap until the fan (frozen in a great block of ice at this stage - that's why it stopped buzzing), runs freely again. All this is then going to cost you the very best part of £80 - I should be on that hourly rate! Actually, as it happened just over a year ago, it'll have gone up by now.

Then, just before he goes, he'll say - "I'm going to make sure this doesn't happen again." at which point he'll start banging a really big hole in the back of your fridge. This will NOT solve the problem. In fact, it'll make it worse, because now you'll end up with even more condensation in the fridge, which, because the cooling element is a scant 1" above the condensation-outlet hole, will freeze before it actually dribbles out of the hole onto the hot condensing unit to evaporate. In addition to which, the fridge will start to behave like an incontinent cat, and widdle on the floor (comes out under the left front corner of the device) every few weeks.

Here's what you do - and for a supposedly frost free fridge, this is a real pain. You will need to completely defrost the fridge. And if you've got one of these and haven't yet had the problem show - start defrosting now. Last time (about 2 weeks ago), it took over 24 hours to completely defrost. In fact, it was so badly frozen up (previously defrosted back in the spring) that I couldn't get the bottom salad drawer out - not a place you want to put your lettuce! This picture shows the fridge with the inside cover removed - 24 hours after I started. You can see what I mean about space between the bottom of the cooler element, and the hole (that strip of metal above the two screw holes.

Oh, and one caveat - DO NOT, and I have to repeate, DO NOT, have at the ice with a large cleaver. Still, I'm out of warranty, and I can't see how that bit of plastic is of any use...

Should we be more careful about what we type?

Today’s post is by way of being a question.

Do you think it’s more important in this day and age (than, say, 70 years ago, in my Grandmother’s heyday) to make sure that what you commit to “paper” is coherent, and well thought out? And by “paper”, you know I’m talking about any and all writing – emails, blogs, and even real paper.

After all, it’s not as if it’s hard to edit what you’re typing. I ask the question in the wake of a slew of emails from a friend(?) with whom I recently became re-acquainted. Let me illustrate, with a small snippet from his latest email…

I have tried to write something down and it hurts like emma freuds
when you have had a chilli. some things you don`t know about. the
road to hell is paved with. them.........
this will end up an epic so i`ve just left it. it is nearly 9. war
and peace sometime soon?

my tail wagged, always does, tickle me tummy mummy,huff huff
huff thanks that`s nice, please do it again and I seem to have
cocked my leg and peed on the floor. oops. i`ll try shall we start again?

not enough time tonight to do any decency to a reply, and no brain
for calculation as apparently assumed.

If, like me, you find this completely incomprehensible, you’ll be asking yourself, right about now, why on earth he’s having so much trouble finding the back-space key.

I know there are times when your thoughts are tumbling out of your head, faster than you can easily commit them to words on the page, but surely to goodness, you can read through it before you hit the “send” button?

I know that the aforementioned Grandmother would have been horrified if she’d received the above on a piece of paper, purporting to be a letter. She’d have been appalled that there appears to be little, and inaccurate, punctuation. She’d have been aghast at the contents of the middle paragraph – after all, this is someone with whom I’ve spoken not more than half a dozen times in the last 10 years. In addition to which, I doubt she’d have understood the references to chilli in the first paragraph, either – the second sentence is clearly correct in content, if not form!

The thing is, in this day and age, with most people owning (or having access to) a computer, with even basic word processing ability, I believe it’s totally unacceptable to hit the “send” button on something so appallingly badly written.

And my Grandmother would have taken to email communications like a duck to water! I counted, and as I was typing that last sentence, I had to hit the backspace key no less than 7 times – but at least what I’ve written can be understood by most of you…